How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
