Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
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I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
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You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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