Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
