i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
