turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
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eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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