i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
