i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
MIDGETS
????
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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