i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
