you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize