I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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