Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
