paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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