so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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