just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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