HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
