youre lurking in front of me
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
