I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
