but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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