Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
