I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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