whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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