Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
