dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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