you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
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