Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
