I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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