So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
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it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
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then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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