God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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