Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
