love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
