we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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