is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
