Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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