I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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