I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
