He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
