I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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