WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
