I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
