you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.