I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
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we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
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If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.