Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica