We won't sleep together?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada