well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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