You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
