I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
