help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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