i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
