I have demons in me.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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