As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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