what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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