After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
