im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
