A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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