We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Who died my cat blue again?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize