it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
