the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
