I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
