I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize