I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
