it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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